


Drawers

by night_swimming



Series: Hearts on Their Sleeves [3]
Category: Horizon: Zero Dawn (Video Game)
Genre: ALL THE FLUFF, Aloy? Overanalyzing Something? Never!, Angst, F/M, Flirting, Fluff, Journal Entries, Mutual Pining, Post-Canon, Sharing a Bed, forgework, long-distance pining, supportive coworkers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-28
Updated: 2018-09-25
Packaged: 2019-07-03 13:35:01
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 6,936
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15819918
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/night_swimming/pseuds/night_swimming
Summary: Aloy has unfinished business – the last piece of the puzzle she’s been putting together all her life. So why is leaving Meridian to find her mother’s final resting place more difficult than leaving anywhere else before? Life is complicated when emotions keep getting in the way.





	1. Chapter 1

Aloy closed the front door behind her, placing her pack and bow on the floor as calmly as she could manage. _You need to do this,_ she told herself again, _you can’t wait any longer._ Erend sat at the table, frowning over a stack of parchment, reading intently. He looked up to acknowledge Aloy’s return and greeted her a bright, cheeky smile.

“You’re back early,” he said.

Struggling to keep her face neutral, Aloy sat down across from him. 

“Erend...” she started.

One word, her tone of voice, and he already knew exactly what she was going to say. The grin fell from his face.

“Erend, I have to go,” she forced out, pushing her thumb and index finger together tightly to keep herself from coming undone. “There’s something I need to do.”

 

 

\- - - - -

 

 

Erend wasn’t a fool, even though he could convincingly play one when he needed to. He’d sensed the change in Aloy, always just a hint or an offhand comment that stuck with him every now and then. 

He thought about asking her, casually bringing it up, but every imaginary conversation ended with one of them resentful or hurt or upset. What they had now, whatever this was, was so good and easy that Erend wasn’t ready to risk compromising it. So he’d cook dinner and they would play cards and laugh late into the night and he would put it off for another day. _Ersa said to grow up,_ Erend chided himself as he lay awake in bed, listening to a cold rain fall against the roof. _That probably means having difficult conversations, even when you don’t want to. Especially when you don’t want to._

Months ago, walking back from a long day of scrapping machines in the Maizelands, Aloy abruptly turned to him and asked, very pointedly, “Erend how do you know that what you want, what you’re doing, is right for you?” He almost laughed in response but realized she was serious, and had probably been mulling this over all day. 

“Captaining the vanguard, living in Meridian,” she continued, “why this over anything else?”

Erend watched her brow knit together in obvious frustration. She was always beautiful, but somehow even more so when that small scowl crossed her face as she tried to work out a puzzle or untangle an equation. Erend sighed and adjusted his grip on the cart.

“Because it feels right. Because people here need me and – at least to my face – say that they want me here,” he said with a grin. “I don’t have any reason to be anywhere else right now. That doesn’t mean that I’ll never change my mind. It’s a big world out there, and while my knees might disagree I’m not that old yet.

“My advice? Stop thinking with your head for a minute and try thinking with your heart. Stop trying to decipher your feelings. While it is adorable, you’re not going to get anywhere,” he said playfully bumping her with his hip as they walked.

The tips of Aloy’s ears turned red as she smiled, and Erend’s heart skipped a few beats on their walk back to the city.

 

 

\- - - - -

 

 

“I think I’ve figured out where my mother was from, where she maybe went when she died,” Aloy said. “I need to see it for myself. I have to know.”

Erend forced a rather unconvincing smile. “Of course Aloy. I’d... I’d want to know too.”

Silence fell between them, both unsure of what to say next.

“I knew this was coming, Aloy, please don’t feel bad about going,” Erend said.

“You did?” she asked, her brow arched in surprise.

Erend laughed. “You’re not exactly hard to read,” he said.

Aloy shrugged her shoulders and relaxed a little. “I guess so,” she said. “I’m sorry, Erend. I should have said something sooner. I needed to make sure I wanted to go for the right reasons.”

“Do you want me to come with you?” Erend asked.

“No,” Aloy said quietly, “I need to do this alone.”

Crossing his arms, Erend leaned back in his chair. Aloy searched his face, waiting for his reaction. 

“I understand why you need to do this by yourself...” Erend trailed off and absently ran a hand through his hair, “...but you should know, I want you to know, that you don’t have to be alone anymore if you don’t want to be.”

Aloy’s stomach twisted in on itself as decades of internalized guilt and pain was pulled from her by Erend’s words.

“I know you’re so used to being alone, that it’s the only life you’ve ever known. I just want you to think about what it would be like to let other people into your life. Obviously, the right kind of people,” he said, gesturing at himself with a wink.

Aloy huffed a small laugh, the tightness in her chest relaxing a little.

“I’m sorry, I should have told you this before now,” Erend said.

“Oh Erend, please don’t apologize,” Aloy responded. “I care about you. A lot. You’ve done nothing but make my life better since I met you. I know that and I… well I want more of that. But every time I think about it, some part of me is still holding back. I feel like I just found my freedom, just found answers to a lifetime of questions. I can’t give up on them now.”

Erend smiled sadly as he spoke. “Aloy, I don’t want you to think for a second that I want you to give up your life, your pursuits, for anything. Please don’t think that. Being with someone doesn’t mean giving up your identity, it means that you have a partner, someone who has your back. Someone who cares about you as much as you do.

“More than anything I want you to be happy, Aloy. And if I can give you that, if you think you could be happy with me, just know that the offer to stay here for whatever amount of time you want, will always stand.” 

The evening bells rang in the distance, their deep tones carried on a breeze through the open window. Aloy’s fingers absently traced the edge of the wooden table, sturdy and reliable like the man that made it. 

“Thank you, Erend,” Aloy said quietly. “I need to do this but... it’s never been hard for me to leave somewhere before. And now, having to leave Meridian, to leave you. I don’t like it.”

Erend laughed softly. “I’m not trying to make this any harder for you than it already is, but I’ll miss you when you’re gone, Aloy. And maybe, you’re having a hard time leaving because you like me? Maybe more than just a friend? Because I sure like you, Aloy.”

With each thud her heart said _stay, stay, stay._

“I... we’ll talk about this when I get back. I promise,” Aloy said, holding his grey eyes with hers.

 

 

\- - - - -

 

 

That night, Aloy lay awake in bed, her eyes counting and recounting the dark knots that covered the wooden ceiling. The conversation from earlier replayed in loop around her head – _someone who cares about you – please don’t feel bad – be happy with me._

With a defeated sigh Aloy sat up. 

Through the thin wall, Erend barely made out the creak of floorboards as she crossed the room. Sleep, it seemed, eluded everyone in the house that night. Erend had tossed and turned for what felt like hours, unable find a comfortable position to hold the anxiety of Aloy’s departure that had settled in his chest. 

He watched through a cracked eye as the bedroom door opened. Aloy emerged, taking a few steps towards him and stopped at the corner of his mattress. Erend could just make out the edges of her figure in the dim moonlight – arms crossed, shoulders turned in slightly, wearing only a thin pair of leggings and linen shirt. 

“Erend?” Aloy’s voice was small, barely a whisper.

Erend propped himself up on an elbow. “You okay?” he half-whispered back.

_No? Yes? I’m not sure._

__

__

_I don’t know how to be here with you but still remain as me?_

_I’m tired of being alone but so afraid of relying on others?_

_I want you to hold me again but I don’t understand why?_

“I can’t sleep,” she settled on.

She could feel Erend’s smile. “Come here,” he said, lifting up the edge of his blanket.

Aloy crawled into the bed next to him, turning on her side so her back was to him, hoping he couldn’t hear her heartbeat that threatened to jump out of her chest. Erend shifted to give her as much of the bed as possible. The dip of the mattress, however, had other plans and kept sliding them together, coaxing his knees to tuck in just behind hers. Aloy waited a few moments until Erend’s breath slowed and she backed ever-so-slightly into his chest, feeling the movement of his breath against her shoulder blades. Erend stirred at the contact, hesitated slightly, and finally draped his arm over her. Aloy’s heart hummed as she closed her eyes, the weight pulling her into sleep, protecting her from the inevitable morning.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let there be… _angst!_ It took me way longer than it should have to get this chapter to a point where I’m happy with it. Onwards and upwards!


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Erend finds a creative outlet to keep himself busy.

 

Even after two weeks and three washes the sheets still smelled like her. Erend clenched his jaw as he rolled over, willing his body to relax. His bed still felt strange to him. He was grateful for the respite from months of a mattress on the floor, but sleeping in his own bed was a constant reminder that Aloy was not. The first rays of the sunrise fell through the slats of the shutters, teasing at his closed eyelids. With a defeated sigh Erend shrugged off the blankets that could do nothing but remind him of her. _I hope you’re still asleep Aloy,_ he thought, _no one should be up at this hour._ He stifled a yawn, knowing he would pay later for yet another early morning. 

He trudged through the narrow Meridian passages to the great elevator, the streets quiet except for a few snoring drunks and the occasional rat scurrying across his path. It was the weekly day of rest, only a skeleton crew of vanguard soldiers needed to report in and one of his lieutenants could easily handle them. In the past Erend would have spent this day in bed nursing a hangover, eating whatever cold and not-quite-yet-stale leftovers he could scrounge up, cursing at Ersa when she threw open the shutters, playfully bullying him to get his butt out of bed. More recently he would spend the day with Aloy – exploring the hillsides outside of Meridian for that one elusive plant or standing hip to hip with her in his tiny kitchen, teaching her how to dice something just right for the evening meal. He refused to spend today as he had spent last week’s day of rest, moping around, wallowing in his inability to concentrate on anything but the absence of her. 

Spending time inside his house was excruciating. He still expected her bright head of red hair to come around the corner or down the stairs every time he looked up. Aloy had asked if she could keep some of her belongings at Erend’s place when she left to find her mother – things she had acquired during her time in Meridian or resources she wouldn’t need on this journey. Erend had of course agreed, making some joke about renting out warehouse space if needed. He would do anything for her, anything she asked, but he didn’t realize this would leave him with a large pile of Aloy’s belongings – spare armor, satchels of wire, a precariously balanced stack of glinthawk lenses, and so on – filling a corner of his main room. It wasn’t the clutter that bothered him (Ersa had been the organized one, not him), but rather that the material provided a constant reminder that Aloy wasn’t here, wouldn’t be back in time for dinner, wouldn’t be found at the table tinkering away with a chillwater canister late into the evening. Erend was going out of his way to keep himself as occupied as possible, only because the alternative was to drown himself in the bottom of a dozen mugs of ale, something he desperately wanted to avoid.

The sun had cleared the top of the eastern hills as he exited the elevators, walking the short distance to his destination. The fires of the mainforge always burned, today was no exception. Erend walked up to the pair of forgemen on site today and presented himself for duty. 

Growing up Oseram, Erend knew working the town forge was an easy way to make a few extra coins, blow off some steam, and spend a few hours away from whatever was troubling you. Meridian’s mainforge was no exception – anyone willing to put in some hard work was given a stiff apron, heavy gloves, and a hammer to swing. For the first time since she left, Erend was able to put Aloy out of his mind for a few hours as he worked up an embarrassingly heavy sweat from manning the bellows. He thought he was in shape from a few years of vanguard training but a day at the forge put him to shame. An idea struck him and after chatting briefly with the master forgeman, left at the end of the afternoon feeling pointedly brighter than when he had arrived.

The next day, however, others were not as keen on the idea.

“Forgework!” a vanguard sergeant groaned, “but Captain we left the Claim and became vanguardsmen specifically to avoid that life!” Other vanguard nodded and grumbled in agreement. Erend simply grinned back at them.

“And unfortunately you decided to pledge yourself to an organization that I am in command of. And we are going to kill two birds with one stone – increasing our clout as civil servants while getting a brutal workout,” Erend flexed as he spoke to draw some laughs and mocking boo’s. “Twice a week, no complaining, that is an order.” 

 

 

\- - - - -

 

 

Days passed and Erend wandered home from an uneventful night out at the tavern with his lieutenants. Erend would take a few drinks with them on occasion to both remind them that he appreciated the work they did as well as give them a chance to talk shop about any new recruits or enlisted causing trouble. That, and to hear any good gossip from around the barracks. 

The rumor mill was light this week and the conversation drifted towards Erend and Aloy. One of the lieutenants hesitated but ultimately came out and asked what everyone had obviously been thinking for the past few weeks.

“Word is that Aloy left recently, Captain. Was it because of something you did?” He smiled, nudging Erend with his elbow.

“We all know you spent a lot of time with her while she was here,” the other continued. Erend waited for the inappropriate insinuation but none followed. “And you’ve been quieter than normal lately so it’s not hard to put two and two together.”

“Just know that my wife is always excited to cook for someone other than me. Open invitation – dinner, cards, company – please come over anytime,” the first said.

“Let us know if there’s anything we can do,” the second concluded, nodding.

Erend ran his thumb across the rim of his mug. “Thanks guys,” he said, “I really appreciate that. I’m fine, just trying to keep myself busy. Don’t think I won’t take you up on that dinner offer though!” The men smiled and clapped Erend on the shoulder.

 

 

\- - - - -

 

 

Knowing his troops and friends had his back did make him feel better, but with each step towards his empty house Erend’s mood sank a little lower.

 _By the forge I miss her,_ he thought as he closed his front door behind him. 

_She’s spent the past year and a half helping people she didn’t know or just met because she knew it was the right thing to do. She went out of her way to help everyone, even the Nora who have done nothing to deserve her good grace,_ he rambled on as he pulled off his boots and overshirt.

 _I should do something for her. I want to do something for her. Aloy deserves that,_ he said with gusto to himself, nodding in agreement.

Erend sat on the edge of the bed and ran his hands through his strip of hair. _What could I possibly do for her that she can’t do for herself? She doesn’t need any more weapons, and I can’t make better armor than she already has._

__

__

_Maybe a necklace? Ugh. No chance it will be anything worthy of being worn by her,_ Erend flopped backwards on the bed, deflated. 

His eyes closed as his head sank into the pillow that still smelled faintly of Aloy’s hair. _Maybe I’ll write her a book of stupid jokes that she can take with her,_ he thought to himself with a chuckle, _that’s about all I’m good at these days._ With a heavy yawn Erend turned over and fell quickly into a deep sleep.

 

 

\- - - - -

 

 

While the joke book did not pan out, Erend’s inspiration would come from an unlikely place.

Meridian residents continued to clean up from the aftermath of the Great Battle, as the encounter with HADES and the Eclipse was now colloquially being referred to. Many took it as an opportunity to renovate, expand, or downsize houses that, for some, were literally set in stone before the upheaval. Unwanted material, scraps, and debris were transported to the outskirts of lower Meridian, near the mainforge, to be repurposed by craftsmen and women or burned as fuel in the forges. 

The task on-hand for today’s forge volunteers was fire-tending and Erend cursed himself under his breath for the third time that morning. _Not such a god idea now,_ he mumbled, dragging another cartfull of lumber and debris into the yard for his vanguard to chop into even pieces. For best results the fires had to burn hot, long, and consistent – rising and falling temperatures during a forging session resulted in weakened steel and compromised product. Pieces for burning had to be as uniform in size and shape as possible and the vanguard were finding precision work to be slightly outside of their forte. 

Erend made another pass of the wooden debris heap, searching for pieces that already seemed to be about the same size. Kicking aside a wide piece of wood, Erend discovered a small pile of rectangular, uniformly shaped blocks. He picked one up, curious.

It was, in fact, a small wooden container or bin. Erend turned it over in his hand and ran his fingers over the dark brown wood. It was skillfully crafted with cut grooves on the edge of each side that fit snuggly into the grooves of the others. At his feet lay six or eight identical wooden bins to the one in his hand - each a half foot wide by a foot or so deep. Erend wondered what these once stored – kitchen utensils? Jewelry? They certainly weren’t big enough to hold clothing or armor and because they lacked a top – just four sides and a bottom – and they couldn’t be closed or easily stacked. 

He began to pile the containers in the cart, pleased he’d be able to skip chopping this trip as they were at least a consistent size, when he stopped mid-toss. His mind raced as an idea took shape. Erend held the one he was about to throw between his hands and studied it, flipping it end over end. _I’d need more than just a few, _he thought to himself. He placed the container gently in the cart, counting the number he’d already collected and rummaged around in the debris pile to see if he could find any more of them. Erend pushed aside a piece of a door that lay atop a pile and laughed triumphantly when he discovered dozens more of them in perfect condition.__

____

____

_Alright Erend,_ he thought, _let’s see if you can pull this off._

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Flashback to college field hockey coaches attempting to get the team excited about the summer workout routine... at least Erend is putting in the effort alongside his men.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Aloy, heading West, figures out a way to stay connected with Erend even as the distance between them increases.

 

 

_Hi Erend. It’s me. Aloy. Of course it is. Well, ah, I guess you’re never going to hear this, are you. Yeah. So, it’s been a few weeks since I left Meridian. I discovered how to record audio logs using my Focus. Well, actually recording them is easy, playing them back is more difficult but I think I’ve figured that out now. It doesn’t matter, really, I don’t even know why I’m keeping these. I guess it feels better to talk to someone rather than talking to myself. I’ve done enough of that for a lifetime. Um, okay. Well, bye Erend._

 

 

 

 

 

\- - - - -

 

 

 

 

 

_Me again. Of course it is. I guess it would be strange if other people were leaving messages for you through their ancient mechanical headpieces. I’m on foot today, the land here is pretty flat and I’m sore from two straight days on a Strider. I’m heading west, following the sunset. That’s where I think she went._

 

 

 

 

 

\- - - - -

 

 

 

 

 

_I wish I could hear your voice Erend. It would be nice to hear someone other than me. It’s a shame the only living person that’s ever spoken to me through this was that rat Sylens..._

 

 

 

 

 

\- - - - -

 

 

 

 

 

_I made rabbit stew again last night and something about it reminded me of you. Not that you remind me of rabbits. But the stew. I mean, your cooking. Oh, nevermind..._

 

 

 

 

 

\- - - - -

 

 

 

 

 

_I was thinking today about what Rost would have to say about of all this. About my mother, about GAIA and HADES, about the plague that destroyed the old ones. He’d probably just stick his head in the sand again. ‘Aloy’, he’d say ‘these are not things for us to know. Stop meddling in their world. We cannot change the past. Now focus on your training and spar with the straw dummies again’ *laughter* Well maybe not that exactly. But maybe he’d be proud of what I’ve done. I hope he’d be proud._

 

 

 

 

 

\- - - - -

 

 

 

 

 

_Had to go the long way around a canyon pass today because of some aggressive glinthawks. I don’t want to waste my ammo if I don’t need to, but it stings that I spent a full day retracing my steps and climbing a different ridge. I wonder if I can ride a glinthawk like a strider. Now THAT would be something._

 

 

 

 

 

\- - - - -

 

 

 

 

 

_I finally found a suitable stream for a bath today. It was... needed. The bar of soap I brought is actually one of yours – sorry, meant to tell you before I left – so, thanks for that. It does mean that I’m clean and smelling like you, though._

 

 

 

 

 

\- - - - -

 

 

 

 

 

_I woke up in a foul mood today and I haven’t been able to shake it. It would be easier if you were here, you always find a way make me feel better. I... I miss you, Erend. There, I’ve said it. It’s true and I hate it because I can’t fix it. I’m sore from walking and riding all day, I’m tired from this thin and uncomfortable sleeping pad. I miss your smile and your beard and your stupid perfect jokes. Gods I don’t think I’ve ever missed sarcasm before. What is wrong with me? I should have told you before I left, Erend. I should have said how much I rely on you, how I always feel better, more like myself, when I’m around you. I couldn’t tell what it was until I left, and now it’s the clearest thing I’ve ever felt. I thought if I said it out loud that it would help but I still have this weight in my chest. Can I just... feel better already?_

 

 

 

 

 

\- - - - -

 

 

 

 

 

_I dreamt of you last night, Erend. You were lying next to me in bed, like we were the last night I was in Meridian. The warmth of your breath against my neck, smell of you on the sheets and all around me, I was there again and it was so real. I... I want to wake up like that every morning. I want to be the one to make you crack that big dumb grin and laugh with your whole chest like you do, where anyone who hears it can’t help but laugh too. My heart aches when I think of you Erend. Is this normal? I don’t even know what is normal anymore._

 

 

 

 

 

\- - - - -

 

 

 

 

 

_It poured rain all day Erend, the wind was so fierce it practically rained sideways. I’m hunkered down in the cave I camped in last night, guess I’ll stay here until this storm blows through. I replayed some old audio files stored on my focus, clips I found while out in the world. Just to have something to listen to besides the wind and rain. I found a few logs from two Old Ones, a man and a woman. They worked together in The Cut, on the project that created CYAN, that volcano-eruption-stopping project I told you about. Remember? Anyways. They were a "couple" Erend, that’s how this woman Anita referred to their relationship. They talked about each other in almost every log. I don’t have many recordings from her, but his – Kenny – are all so, well, sad. They were with each other and then when the work was done they weren’t, and he thought about that for the rest of his life. He carried that regret for years. He thought about her all the time, even when he knew their world was ending. I couldn’t get this out of my mind all day. Some choices we make fade and are forgotten almost as soon as they are made. Others stay with us for a lifetime._

 

 

 

 

 

\- - - - -

 

 

 

 

 

_I swear if I have to eat rabbit again tonight I’m going to lose it. What I wouldn’t give for a pie right now. This is your fault, you know. I didn’t know any better until I stayed in Meridian. I was remembering earlier one of those fruits you insisted I try. I can’t remember the name, I think it began with a p… pleach? pearch? Anyways. It was fuzzy and the skin was this pink, yellow, and orange color all blended together and I said it was beautiful, like a sunset. Without missing a beat you said ‘like you’. I really miss you, Erend._

 

 

 

 

 

\- - - - -

 

 

 

 

 

_It’s magnificent out here. It’s like the Sun-Steps except the landscape stretches on and on for as far as you can see. The crest of every hill reveals more of the same but still there is beauty, not repetition. Almost makes me forget how far away I am from everything I know._

 

 

 

 

 

\- - - - -

 

 

 

 

 

_I found her today. My mother. She was just sitting there, like she was waiting for me. I kept thinking about that recording I found all those months ago, the one where she told GAIA about what her mother wanted for her and what she would want for her own children. I cried, Erend. Something inside me broke open and I couldn’t stop. My mother talked about not having enough time, there just wasn’t time, she said. And yet here I am, here because of her and her ingenuity and her perseverance in the face of devastation, and now I have it. I have the time that she didn’t. She made that for everyone. For me. I found her and I said goodbye. What am I supposed to do now Erend?_

 

 

 

 

 

\- - - - -

 

 

 

 

 

_Hi Erend. Me again. I haven’t spoken to you in a while because I’ve been so exhausted from the journey home, trying to make it as quickly as I can. Home. It’s been a long time. Can I still call it that? I thought it wouldn’t but the idea of Meridian still feels like home. But maybe it’s not the where that is home, maybe it’s the who. Will you still feel the same way Erend? Is it possible to feel closer to someone having spent months apart? I’ll know soon, I guess._

 

 


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Aloy returns to Meridian. Erend's project is discovered. A reunion long overdue.

 

Aloy set up camp on the western shore of Daybreak. In the distance she could just make out the top of the Spire, the last rays of the day reflecting off its irregularly shaped sides. Another borderline obsessive scan with her focus continued to show no sign of snapmaws as she unfurled her bedroll. The evening sky faded into night and the stars appeared one by one. Aloy watched them, as she had every other clear night over the last three months, and thought of her mother looking up at the same stars.

While the journey to find her mother’s final resting place wasn’t physically difficult, Aloy had not been prepared for how mentally challenging the task would be. When she traveled through Nora, Carja, and Banuk lands she’d encountered people on the roads and the occasional settlement dotting the landscape. Machines were abundant and while that often made for a challenging day, there was at least something keeping Aloy’s attention as she explored and traveled.

This time was different. Aloy hadn’t seen another person anywhere, not even traces of recent settlements or activity. The lands past the edge of Carja territory, over the western peaks, were beautiful but barren – hills colored with dirt browns, shrub greens, and sandy reds rolling into the distance. Bodies of water were few and far between. She’d found no cauldrons and only a few tallnecks during the trip. Truthfully, she would have turned around weeks ago if she wasn’t so sure of the location of her destination.

Turning up the edge of her sleeping pad into a sad but passable pillow, Aloy closed her eyes and tried to force herself into sleep. The emptiness and loneliness weighed on her, wearing her down with each night that passed. It hadn’t been like this before – she had spent almost a year traveling and camping and exploring on her own, thriving on the experience. Now she wanted nothing more than to finish this, to be back in Meridian, to find her heart that she had unknowingly left behind.

 

 

 

\- - - - -

 

 

 

It was late afternoon the following day when Aloy’s small frame rested against the door of Erend’s house. She didn’t expect him to be home at this hour but knocked anyways to no response. Aloy rummaged around in the exterior pocket of her travel pack and with a grin extracted a small bundle of worn leather. Unrolling it, a iron key dropped into her palm. _Thanks Erend,_ Aloy thought as she unlocked the door and pushed it open.

Aloy spent her first 18 years living in the small, two-room cabin with Rost, confined to the valley south of Mother’s Heart. Almost a year ago, when Aloy returned the Embrace to pay her final respects to the man who was her father, she’d hesitantly entered the cabin one last time. Aloy was a brave and practical woman – Rost truly raised her well – so she’d steadied and steeled herself before walking inside. What she wasn’t prepared for, what she couldn’t have known would feel like a punch in the gut, was the unmistakable smell of home. With each breath a hundred memories flooded her mind – Rost cooking turkey over the fire, Aloy carving small wooden figures at the table, Rost shaking ice crystals out of his braided beard after a storm, Aloy tripping over the rug while staring transfixed at the projections of her Focus. With each breath the sensation faded, the memories became less vivid, and after a few minutes the smell of the cabin around her was familiar and unremarkable.

It was that moment Aloy thought of first when she stepped through Erend’s front door. A smile spread across her face, remembering how the sensation caught her off-guard both then and now she laughed out loud. Erend’s house smelled like leather and carbon and fruit. It was laughter with vanguard friends and long nights talking quietly and rainy mornings fixing armor and weapons. It was someone who cared about her. It was _home_. Aloy closed her eyes and slowed her breaths, savoring each.

Her heart under control, she dropped her pack and weapons in their usual corner inside the front door and walked in.

 

 

 

\- - - - -

 

 

 

“Captain!” a Vanguard called, clearly out of breath, and saluted, “Sir!”

“This had better be important,” Erend said, turning away from Avad to face the soldier. The soldier’s face was red and he struggled to stand at attention between heaving breaths. Erend made a note to add some additional cardio to the weekly training routine.

“Sir. Following standing orders to provide an immediate report on suspicious persons entering Meridian,” the soldier said, still panting.

Erend, an unwilling attendant at Marad’s daily advisory session, was always looking for an excuse to miss out but this was not what he had in mind.

“What kind of suspicious person?” Erend asked.

“The red-headed kind,” the soldier responded.

Avad laughed and Erend struggled to keep his face neutral.

_Oh. OH._

Without hesitation he looked at Avad. “Permission to investigate the potential threat?”

The Sun King smiled as Marad rolled his eyes. “Granted,” he said.

 

 

 

\- - - - -

 

 

 

Like emerging slowly from a dream, Aloy’s fingers traced the edges of the wooden counters as she moved through the main room. She huffed a laugh at the small stack of dirty plates next to the washbasin. Aloy lit the oil lantern sitting on the kitchen table. She absently dragged her fingers across a scrap of off-white parchment tucked under a clay cup filled with quills. Noticing the page was dotted with small black scribbles she turned the parchment towards her.

 

> ~~Watce~~
> 
> _Watcher _Watcher__
> 
>  
> 
> _Aloy Aloy Aloy_
> 
>  
> 
> ~~Lanecs Lancehor~~ La

_This is different,_ Aloy thought. Now curious, she looked around the room.

Aloy did an almost-comical double-take. The far corner of the main room, where an extra stool and a long-suffering, mostly dead plant usually sat, was now filled with a large piece of wooden furniture. It definitely wasn’t there before, she would have remembered it when she piled (as neatly as she could) the belongings she didn’t need for her journey.

Aloy distinctly remembered that corner because before she left, Erend had insisted that he “didn’t need the space” and “would be offended if she didn’t let him” keep her extra armor, weapons, and miscellaneous resources piled there. She was grateful to be able to stash her extra belongings somewhere safe. Her armor was folded in a pile, her extra bow and tripcaster hung on the wall, however the oversized satchel that held her surplus resources was gone. In its place was what appeared to be a large, wooden workbench. The thick top, an arms-length deep and six feet wide, was made of a dark hardwood that Aloy couldn’t identify. The sanded surface had been waxed and shined, reflecting the last of the afternoon sun as it filtered through the shutters. A set of machine scrapping tools lay in an neat row on one edge of the bench – small knives, pliers, and hammers, new and unused. _This is beautiful,_ Aloy thought as she sat on the stool in front of it.

It was then that she noticed the top half of the workbench.

A wooden grid of squares, a foot or two above the height of the waxed surface, ran suspended over the width of the workbench. Each square had a small metal hook attached to the front and what looked to be a small piece of parchment pinned underneath it. _They’re drawers!_ Aloy thought, her eyes lit up with the discovery. _There must be twenty or thirty of them._

Each piece of parchment listed something in the same scribbly writing Aloy saw earlier. Erend’s handwriting. Aloy leaned forward to get a better look and let out a small gasp. The parchment on each drawer listed a name of a resource or item – desert glass, lancehorn heart, braiding, on and on. She opened a few, picking up a corruptor lens from its drawer and turning it over absently. The contents of her disorganized pack and satchel stored and labeled. A space of her own carved out of Erend’s home, waiting for her to return.

Aloy’s heart pounded and mind raced as she fought back tears. She turned on her heels and marched out the door, determined to find the man responsible for this.

 

 

 

\- - - - -

 

 

 

Erend took the shortest route from the palace to his front door, teetering on the edge of running. He wove through central market and alleyways, politely squeezing his way past carts and merchants and children playing in the street. Nearing home, he turned a corner and saw a flash of red hair disappear around the bend.

“Aloy?” Erend called out.

Sure enough, Aloy’s small frame appeared at the end of the alley. Aloy practically ran at Erend and barreled into him, catching his footing off guard as he took a half step back in surprise. She threw her arms around him, burrowing her face into his chest.

“Hi, hey, how are you?” Erend asked, his heart thumping loudly in his ears. He curled one arm around her shoulders and rested his other hand on her head, holding her to him. She was here in his arms, a feeling he’d thought about every day since she’d left, but somehow something didn’t feel right. Aloy pulled away after a moment and Erend discovered she was crying.

“Woah, Aloy, are you okay? Are you hurt?” Erend asked, panic rising in his voice.

“I just... I missed you so much,” Aloy said between deep breaths, obviously trying to control herself, “and I come back… and I find this…”

“Found what, Aloy?” Erend asked. “What happened?”

“The workbench… all the drawers…” Aloy said between near-sobs. Erend had never seen her like this and was truthfully a little unsure how to act. He put his hands on Aloy’s shoulders to steady her.

“The workbench! Ah. You saw it. Is that what this is about? Do you not like it?” Erend said, increasingly confused.

“Don’t like it? Erend, it’s _perfect._ ” Aloy said. “I just… No one’s ever done anything like this for me. It was just such a long journey and I come home and you’ve done this… for me…”

Erend laughed. “Aloy! You had me scared there. Are you sure you’re alright?”

Aloy nodded, then shook her head, then sighed and leaned forward to press her face into Erend’s chest again. Erend hugged her tightly and, with a wave of boldness, softly pressed his lips to the crown of her head. “Just breathe,” he said, quietly, “I’ve got you.”

He held his lips and nose to her hair, breathing her in. Aloy smelled like earth and salvebrush and rain, everything he remembered from the night she tucked her head just under his chin and fell asleep at his side. Erend waited until her breath was even and calm again before leaning back, separating them slightly.

“I’m glad you like the workbench, Aloy. I… I have to tell you, this is not how I thought this conversation would go,” Erend said, rubbing the back of his head.

“I’m sorry,” Aloy said through a shaky smile and wiped her eyes with cuff of her sleeve. “It’s now how I imagined it either. Can we just start over?”

“If that’s what you want,” Erend said, sighing. He held out his hand to Aloy. “Hi, I’m Erend.”

Aloy laughed and hit him in the arm. “Did I tell you that I missed you?” she sniffed.

“You did,” Erend said, “but I wouldn’t mind if you said it a few more times.”

Aloy looked up at him, freckled cheeks turned pink from their closeness and long days in the sun. Her eyes held his as she pursed her lips together in a small smile. Erend felt as if he could float away. He lowered his head to almost touch her forehead with his, the inches of air between them heavy with anticipation.

“Erend,” Aloy whispered as she gripped a handful of his scarf, “please…”

Drawing on all the courage and strength he’d built up over the last three months, Erend leaned in and kissed her.

It was everything he’d hoped but nothing he could have imagined. Every nerve in his body screamed in joy, his heart pounded in his chest so hard he was sure she could feel it. The moment felt like an eternity but only a breath later he pulled back, just an inch, as Aloy gasped a soft exhale. A grin spread across her face.

“Did you want something?” Erend asked, unable to stop grinning himself.

“Only you,” she said.

 

 

 

\- - - - -

 

 

 

That evening, Aloy and Erend found a quiet balcony, tucked away off the main roads. Full from dinner and ale and laughter, they sat together on a small stone bench against the railing. A calm silence settled over them, both happy to just be there with the other.

“I thought about you a lot while I was gone,” Aloy said after some time.

“I thought about you a lot too,” Erend replied. “I’m glad you’re back.”

“Oh, please don’t get the wrong impression Erend. I only came back for the pies,” Aloy said with as much sincerity as she could muster.

Erend threw his head back and laughed. “Oh, you’ll get pies,” he said. Aloy smiled back and laughed, something he knew he would never tire of.

Erend put his arm around Aloy’s shoulder, tucking her under his arm. She leaned into him, sliding her arm around his waist, fitting together like they were cut from the same block of wood. Erend kissed the top of her head, unable to stop smiling.

“Tell about your journey,” he said, as they sat together and watched the sun set. “I want to hear everything.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *teen girl squad voice* **It's OVER!** Thank you all so, so much!! I really enjoyed writing this and I sincerely appreciate all the support and encouragement. I'm on tumblr at [Petey17 ](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/petey17) if anyone is looking for cultivated reposts of LOTR memes, HZD photomode shots, and Rogue One gifs!


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